I've been goin to church since the 5th grade but I was never really into it. I felt like I was being forced to go to church. One day in 8th grade I remember takin one of my friends to my church. My pastor asked her if she wanted to accept God and she did the prayer. Then a couple of weeks later I receive a phone call from my friend and she starts tellin me how much she loves Jesus and how she really wants to go to church and I was really happy. Then time passes and I start noticing so many changes in her. shes a completely different person. Then I notice she starts to have alot of blessings from God and I start to tell God"Whats going on God.havent I been a christian longer than her?".But she had faith and belived in his word me in the other hand knew about his word but I didnt have that much faith.Then I try to follow the laws of God. Then in highschool I started to preach to some of my friends even though I needed the preaching myself. So one day my friends started asking me for advice and for some reason I didnt know what to say. I started to notice that God was takin away everything I knew about the bible away from me. I got tired of having to go through the struggles and I decided to not want to go to church anymore. One day in church when my pastor was prarying I made my nephew mad on purpose so when he starts crying I can have an excuse of why to leave the church. So I tell one of the girls to tell the pastor I left the church because my nephew was cursing at me (lie).I start walking down the block and I reach the corner from some reason when Im about to put my foot on the street I feel a force pull me back to the sidewalk. I scream at my nephew because he was the only one with me. I scream at him and tell him to stop pulling and I asked him if he wanted to stay in church or go home. He tells to go home. Then the light turns red and I was goin to cross and again I feel something pull me back. I get really mad and start screaming at my nephew.This keeps happening until 20 mins when I realize in the 2 lanes cars have stopped so i can cross on a green light when have you ever seen that? when I was going to cross I felt that if I did I was going to be sucked into a hole. I then realize whats going on. I ask my nephew one more time the same question and he tells me okay lets go to church. When I go back to my church my pastors already preachin a couple of seconds later a man comes in saying God sent him here to this church for a purpose. He then spoke to my pastor and turned and looked at me and told me "Dont leave the church. Dont leave God because Jesus has a purpose for you in the altar. Dont leave.Keep trying."When I was told this I knew that the force was God. and that if I would have crossed I wouldnt be here where I am now. I thank God so much for not giving up on me even though I gave up on Him. I love you Jesus.